Our “acceptable” idols…

These days it seems that there are as many different “flavors” of who God is as people. Even people who go to the same church have worldviews that shape one’s foundation so differently.
If the foundation of a house is bad, the whole house is bad. A worldview built on faulty premises of the true God is faulty on all counts.
To digress, I will give an example. Last week, I was halfway watching a TV show where one of the main characters that week had lost his dad. He spoke of his dad looking down on him and being proud of him, etc. Basically, the guy had a set of beliefs that made him feel better and close to his dad. The other main character disagreed with him but said it was okay if it made him feel better. When my dad died, it was very important to me to look at things as they are…realistically and Biblically. My dad is not all-knowing or omnipresent like my Heavenly Father. And, to look with the premise that my dad is looking down on me, I am saying that I am the center of his universe. The reality is, my dad had a relationship with Jesus Christ and, in turn, God the Father. When he entered the Father’s presence at His death, he experienced the fullness of God. I do not think he has thought of anything since that moment besides the beauty and glory of God. I believe He has been praising Him exceedingly without a thought of me, and I rejoice that He is experiencing Him.
Throughout God’s word, one can see that God is perfect in all ways, holy, and He will not share His glory with another. Whatever we “think” or “believe” about God, He is who He is. We may shape “who He is to us” by the way we explain Him or the way we treat others or how we define situations, but He does not bend to our whim. There are some who put emphasis on getting God to perform for them in faith, and there are some who think we need or can perform for God to please Him. There are some who believe that we are the center of God’s universe (which from time to time would include all of us–just look at the way we complain and demand) and believe He is there to make our lives easier or happy or fulfilled on our terms. In our postmodern world, we do not like others to point out the cracks in our foundation that point to faulty premises of who God is because we say we can experience and define Him in the way that fits us. How do you like it when people experience and define you in their own way? Do they really know you or just their perception?
The truth is, we all make an idol of God in some way in our lives…meaning we make Him to be something that He is not. The only thing that takes that idol down is finding out who He really is in His word. We see all the facets of His character there…the love and the justice…the perfect. We are faced with our sin of who we have crafted Him to be, and, through His grace, we can repent and know Him more truely and deeply. Whether we take the time now to see who He really is, we will see who He really is in the end. I guarantee who He really is is better than anything we have crafted Him to be. My prayer this morning is to not get swept up in a fairy tale to make me feel better or justified or safe for the moment but to know the One, True, Living Almighty God.

Abunga

Just a shout out to a new book site that I found.

Why you should be interested:
1) They are a family friendly site that does not sell porn, etc.
2) They had cheaper prices on many of the books I compared with Amazon.
3) They are a company out of Knoxville, TN that gives 5% of your order to charities around this area, and you choose which ones are benefitted.
4) Like Amazon, once you hit a certain amount, you get free shipping.

I have had a hard time lately finding certain Christian books in stock at retailers around the area, and they had all but one book that I was looking for in stock.

What’s in a Name?

I am in the throws of finding a name for the Women’s discipleship ministry I am starting. They need name books like for baby names for ministry…so I would know what was already taken. Of course I want to find a name that grabs the attention and that means something. And, I want to avoid the cliche names that signify butterflies and flowers:). I also do not want a name that you have to have a PhD to read because it is so long.
I thought I would open up for suggestions from my friends in the blog world. I have tossed around the name “Remain” from John 15 because it so signifies what I want people to grasp–remaining in Christ and His word daily in order to walk with Him and bear fruit. Remain means to stay with the same person…Then there is “Abide” which means to wait for, to endure without yielding, to bear patiently and to remain stable. Then there is the word “Conform” which can be catchy because that is a word that people shy away from in society…this means to be similar/identical/ in agreement and harmony with/to be obedient and compliant.
It is like every creative gene in my body has left the building. I have a long list of brainstormed names, but those are the ones above that connected a bit with me. Greg looked up the word godliness in Greek and it is “Eusebia,” but it just doesn’t sound catchy.
Of course, godliness doesn’t catch on with the world…So.
Okay, so pour them on me….let your creative juices flow. Think…One-on-One Discipleship of young women and equipping women for One-On-One Discipleship relationships…think strong Biblical base…and Go!

Haunted Thoughts

Since I became a Pinkner, my Cox sleep genes have been replaced. I had the spiritual gift of sleep at any time and any place, and now if I “sleep through the night” without having several bouts of waking times in the middle of the night, I celebrate. Greg has always had a hard time sleeping–and that is why I blame him.

Isn’t everything that much more severe in the middle of the night? The thought about paying a bill becomes a life and death struggle at 3 am versus the regular fleeting “to do” at 9 am.

In the last six months or more, I have had haunting thoughts about eternity and evangelism as I lay there in the middle of the night. It is like all the layers of what I think is important are stripped away and I realize how much like this world I really am. I have been ruminating over Paul’s life and writings–the urgency of the gospel in all things. And, I ask the question at 1, 2 and 3 am–Am I squandering my life away on piddly things? If I really treasured Christ above all, wouldn’t I share the truth of Christ consistently with the person checking me out at Wal-Mart? Wouldn’t I say the hard things to my family members to exalt Christ and love them without thought for the cost? Wouldn’t I watch less T.V.? Wouldn’t I speak and invest in my neighbors instead of protecting myself and waving hello from afar?

I have been reading Foxes Book of Martyrs intermittently this month, and I am speechless as I look at the boldness with which our brothers and sisters lived. I need to be awakened in the middle of the night to pray…to be convicted…to see Christ’s mercy towards me when I choose self-protection above exalting Him.

Life in Christ amidst this culture is such a battle. I want to grow in holiness and live to exalt Him and only Him, and sometimes I cannot even differentiate how different I am supposed to be. An alien, stranger…not of this world am I, yet, is that who I am?

I am thankful for being haunted with these thoughts because they shake me awake in the slumber I can get caught in in daylight. Oh, that less of me and more of Him be in me. May my fear melt the more I know Christ.

When you see me live more like the world…call me out to holiness, to boldness, to the One and Only thing that is important!

Discernment with “The Shack”

      There is no book that has receiving more buzz than “The Shack” this year (at least in Christian circles).  I have read the book, and, in it, I saw the beauty of an emotional story that draws the reader towards a certain view of God mixed with some serious error.  The danger comes when, emotionally involved, one openly reads and applies something as truth that may not neccessarily be so.  Usually in a fiction book, theology is not so readily mixed, so it almost creates a new paradigm to “learn” through.

     I know there are many hot sports opinions on all sides about this book. Tim Challies has posted a very thorough and readable review. It may take about 20 minutes of your time, but it is an educational read. No matter what you thought of this book or how it affected you, I think this is a discipline to learn about Biblical discernment through it. This will not be the last book that seriously seeks to redefine the image of God through fiction. We, as people of the word, have to train our minds to discern what is true and what is not.

10 years…

 

      Yesterday marked the 10 year anniversary of when Greg and I met.  I do not remember the explosion of fireworks, but he was really helpful in setting up my Bible study room:).  We worked 10 years ago at Centrifuge Camps in Glorieta, New Mexico.  In this time, I also met my dear friend, Kelly and my dear friend, Amy-Jo.  Who knew what a life changing summer that would be?  

      I will never forget my friend, Sharon, telling me that I would just fall in love with Greg when I met him.  She did not mean literally, but the rest is history.

      So, I am thankful for the course of my life…the ups, downs, hardness, joys.  Mostly, I am exceedingly thankful that Greg knows and loves Christ and His word.  No matter what obstacles have come in the last ten years, that common heart has been the glue that has bound us together.

 

Questions

      Are you  consciously, everyday valuing God as the source of life and not demanding that anything or anyone else fill you up?

     Where are the places in your heart where you are treasuring your satisfaction and the satisfaction of others in secondary things (material blessings, job, status of relationships, children, health) above knowing and treasuring Christ? And are you measuring the faithfulness of God by your circumstances or by his character?  

These are questions I am pondering and praying over.  How dark my heart is when I really look into the depths…and I am reminded by his word that he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  For those who are in Christ, he has cast all our sins behind his back.  May I confess and cling to the Faithful One today.

 

Endings and Open-ended beginnings

       Tonight marks the end of a precious small group I have lead for 5 years.  In the summer of 2003, I opened my home for a college girls “small group” Bible study when Greg became college pastor at Fellowship.  The first week, I was in shock as 25 girls came (and I wondered what in the world I was doing).  We had many interesting discussions that summer (many centered on the dating of non-Christians), and many of those faces and stories are but memories.  Some of those girls kept coming and have grown into women.  Others joined along the way in every kind of transition from college to work world, heartbroken to wholehearted, walled up to broken and real, midwesterner to southerner (only in geography by their chosing:)), baby Christian to maturing one, single to married.     
      I have grown a lot in 5 years.  God has used many of these girls to touch my heart…grow me up in His word and what it means to be a leader.  As I have struggled personally, He has given me grace to be real and courage to let them be real.  He has given me more love for His word and more courage to stand up even when it might not be what someone wants to hear.  As college and grad school were a learning environment, this was a lab.  

       It is amazing how my life has changed in the last 5 years from a 28 year old woman near the beginning of marriage to a “more established” 33 year old.  I have seen these girls make some of the same transitions I was making at the beginning of leading this group.  

      I am thankful for each relationship that has been forged and for each young woman who has come through whether it be for the entire time or a season.  My prayer for each is that they invest in the body, be real with the body and continue walking in relationship with their Father remembering the gospel daily.  I pray that they take what they have learned in study and relationship and give to others the same.  These relationships will continue, but as with everything, a new phase will come.

        This past week, our couples’ small group has ended, as well.  I started in this group as a 25 year old engaged woman 7 1/2 years ago.  This group was with us from the beginning of marriage with Greg traveling all the time to the transition of going on staff at Fellowship.  They heard week after week the crazy stories of working in the inner-city to bearing with me as I experienced heart problems that paused our life to walking with us with my Dad’s sickness and death two and a half years ago.  They were our circle of friends at the beginning of marriage when times were really carefree.  We saw each other buy houses.  We witnessed the birth of their children (okay witnessed not in the true sense!).  We have really grown up together.  

      Most people say that college is the best time of their life, but I say those first few years of marriage were so dear to my heart living life with these people.    Now, I realize that we have entered a different phase of life.   It is like you wake up one day in shock thinking, “what happened?”  We are no longer young adults in the true sense of the word.  Our responsibilities have grown.  Kids and ministry and caring for parents and bearing with the body take us in different directions.  In all these things, I am so thankful for the body that God has brought us to.  I am thankful for the Utterbacks as our small group leaders.  I am thankful for all that have passed through this group with us.  In it, we have made some dear friends.  I am thankful that we have gotten to know their children.

     It is so timely that both of these groups are ending at the same time because I can understand the perspective of the women I am letting go of as I am in the process of letting go of the group that helped me to grow up and out.  There is a grieving process and an excitement all at the same time in both of these.  I am excited to see where God grows and leads all these women and their families.  I am excited to see them pour in and reproduce and be stretched.  I say that knowing that in everything in life, we hold loosely.  I know that there was a time and place for our couple’s group, and I cannot expect to find another experience like it.  Those are my words to them as well.  We hold to Christ and his hope and not experience.  I thank Him and celebrate these people and experiences and I trust His hand to guide each of us in the future.

Coupon Geek

      With not working this year and being in charge of our finances, I have begun the practice of shopping with coupons.  On Sundays, I look forward to cutting coupons and looking at the deals from CVS and Walgreens.  It takes some planning, but I do feel like I am being a better steward.   I also, gulp, am shopping at Wal-mart more.  (If you only knew how much I hated walking through the aisles there–you have to pray for a lot of patience!)  I realized how frivolous I could be with the gifts that God has entrusted to us.

      Yesterday, with some planning, I saved $84.00 with purchases at CVS.  AND…they were all things we used and needed.  Some things I bought several of to stock up.  I would like to thank all you women out there that put up blogs about this…namely one of my friends, Carrie Hayes.  I encourage all you new moms out there to look into coupons and CVS.

      All of our life is to be worship and to glorify God, and caring for your family with the gifts entrusted by Him is a way to worship as well.  

      Thank you all again for your prayers!  

Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow

      This post is to share exciting news.  To all who prayed for Greg’s new medicine to be covered by insurance, we got the news that it is approved for the year!  Thank you for your prayers…continue to pray.  God has made this provision, and I wanted to rejoice with you!