Just Campin’

Why do we order life, or rather think life should be ordered, for our comfort and ease? We spend time accumulating, building, investing in things that fade like freshly picked flowers.
Lately, I have been challenged by the Spirit and God’s word to think on life in light of eternity. This momentary circumstance (whether infertility, not having your house be what you want, having trouble with your child’s behavior, the loss of a child, an extremely hard marriage, a less than fulfilling job) is about more than just it’s resolution. This life, lasting from 70 to 80 years or more is practice for eternity. It is a training ground…a refining ground, rather. This sin entrenched, hard world is not the end. It is the place and time to learn what it is to know repentance, know Christ and make him known. It is the time where we are made more like him clinging to the fact that that work will be complete in us when we meet him (Philippians 1:6).
It is so easy to make my goal ease and personal comfort thinking “this is the only life I have to live, I deserve…” But, that my friends is the farthest from the truth. Jesus told us that in this world we will have trouble. James encourages us to count it all joy when we face trials of many kinds (James 1) because the testing of our faith produces steadfastness (and steadfast love is a character trait of our Lord). We are tried, and that testing is used in the process of becoming more like him. Our reward is not here…it is in heaven and on the new earth where there will be no more pain for ETERNITY, where we will have been totally transformed, where we have perfect fellowship with one another, where we will enjoy God fully. So, when you are thinking, “my life sucks…”–it might. But, in Christ, our hope is not in the now to fill us.
I was walking on Cherokee Blvd today looking at beautiful houses–immaculate landscape–prime real estate. Those fortresses will crumble, but those are often our goal–to consume now. (not that if you live there you are sinning–just depends on what is in your heart). Then, I thought, those in Christ are aliens here. This is not our home. We are merely camping.
When you go camping, you do not expect lavish comfort or a fulfilling night’s sleep. You know what you are in for and enjoy it–the company, the “roughing” it. You do not expect the tent to be like home. I think we all need to be reminded that we are camping–not looking for our home here, not expecting comfort or ease of situation when it is not promised. And, just like camping, we learn many good skills and take time to invest in relationships along the way preparing us and bringing us joy when we think of our bed at home…the feast that awaits at home. Camping is not the end just as this world is definitely not the end. In the light of eternity, this is a flash. Just as Paul says, these “momentary troubles are not worth mentioning” compared to the glory of knowing him forever. I always need a dose of reminder of his truth instead of building a house and life for “my” comfort and ease and getting highly frustrated when it does not work. So, my prayer is to remember that my reward is in heaven. God give me grace to seek your truth and your ways and your glory above me.

Faithful Friends

When you are going through a tough time and do not even know how to pray…God sends faithful friends. When you can barely get out of bed let alone clean the tub…God sends faithful friends. He is the most faithful of friends even when our thoughts and actions are unfaithful…even when we have not an ounce of faith.
God has reminded me of this truth this week. Friends on facebook, friends on the phone, friends who get a babysitter and drive up from more than an hour away to help clean my house, friends who have been through the journey I am walking who say “I totally understand,” friends who have not been on the same path but still listen and pray and provide a place for authenticity have all ministered to me this week.
I am a listener, counselor, encourager, nurturer, but I do not know how to accept that from others very well. It is in a time of struggle where God teaches the beauty of himself and community when I know I need them and let them serve. It is through the give and take that we understand him more and grow more. This hormone fog will pass, but I pray the growth and the lesson will not. We need one another–we were made that way. Our greatest need(s) are met in Him and Him alone, but He uses the body to minister, love, encourage, rebuke, etc.
I thank Him that He is the definition, the example of faithfulness and that that faithfulness is lived out through his precious children.

A blur

This past week has brought a lot of surprises. Our friends, Jacob and Beth Winn, went to the hospital last Monday, had to have an emergency C-section, and had their twins 11 weeks early. It was a scary time for them, and it was a joy to be with them and pray and support. Lilly Claire and Davis are both in the NICU and have wonderful care there. Beth and Jacob are already showing the beauty of Christ through their parenting (however excrutiatingly far they may feel from the sweet ones). Knowing their journey of infertility and now preemies, I know God is doing something bigger than just the circumstance. But, in all of their stress, they need prayer from all of us.
It was not an accident that my last blog post talked about my morning with God last Monday. Only an hour after spending intense time in the word and prayer for my eyes to look beyond myself to his purposes and to serving others, I got the call from Greg that Jacob and Beth were headed to the hospital. Then, soon after, we were there awaiting the twins’ arrival. God certainly provided me an opportunity for the love and care of his people last week. I am thankful that the verses of rejoice always, pray continually and give thanks in all circumstances stuck to my heart that day. If I stayed in the land of me, I would have missed the joy and the pain of others in the day. I would have missed the opportunity to walk in the good works that God had prepared for me.
I now sit in a cloud of thoughts. I have had a hard week emotionally on hormones for infertility (I believe this is the fourth month in a row that I have been on them–and a month before that I was on them). It takes double work to rest in his truth when my mind is in a cloud of thoughts that drag me down. I long to trust Him. I have made a decision to take a month off of hormones next month. I am weary and need a break–a break to simply rest in Him and not count days, take tests and have to deal with the intense mood swings and hot flashes and depressive thoughts. I want to live life today….rejoice, pray continually and give thanks in all circumstances. My body and mind need a rest from the hormones to regroup and be refreshed in him. It is hard not to be defined by something such as infertility when the meds you have to take from it so throw a huge challenge to your thinking and emotions. I ask for prayer for my thoughts and my attitudes, etc as I walk out the effect of the rest of this month.
So, I look to this week. I long to trust Him each day taking steps to keep up with life, appointments, cleaning, shopping. I need to clean my tub, do laundry, write letters for WDC, serve my friends, love my husband well, meet with my girls. Life goes on, and God is good and faithful and an ever present help in time of trouble.

Lift my eyes

This morning I was awakened by circumstantial disappointment. My first thought–to be to myself and skip the time of fellowship with God. (This is my default when sad–ironically enough). However, I knew the battle would be lost there. So, I came to him truthful, disappointed in the hope I had put in circumstance, and prayed from his word. His truth lifted my eyes above circumstance. I have such small sight…I long for too little. I long for comfort and conformity to the world and self-worship. He brought me to thankfulness…to a view of him that transcends circumstantial wants and fears. I am thankful and amazed that the God of the universe has shown me such grace–and I am convicted that I trust him and hallow him very little.
So today I leave you with the prayer I prayed for myself and others from Ephesians 3:14-21

“For this reason I bow my knees before the Father (Daddy), from whom every family in heaven and on earth is named, that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith–that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations, forever and ever. Amen”

Oh Daddy, may my first thought not be self (self-pity, self-preservation, self-worth) today. May my first thought be on the fullness of the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge…the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord (Phil 3:8). May I rejoice in you–in the fullness of you. May I count ALL things as loss in order to gain Christ and be found in him–without a righteousness from me but him (Phil 3:9). Forgive me for wanting too little–comfort and ease, children, a house of piddly treasures, safe finances, self-importance. Give me a vision for loving you with everything.

Buzzword: Community

“You need to get in a community group…small group…Bible study, to do life together.” A true statement that is said at churches all across America every week. People seek community in many ways–facebook, twitter, knitting groups, neighborhood bars, Bible studies, families, fishing clubs, sororities/fraternities, Junior League, play groups, etc. We have all seen what we are like with people and have experienced the drought that comes without people. We’ve experienced true friendship that binds and the mere existence of someone just to “do something” with.
I think we all would agree that relationships are enriching and important. They can be so good for us. They take time, commitment, investment and perserverence. They teach us so much about ourselves and about God. But, what if we have made them the “it”, the ultimate?
Making something good ultimate is one definition of idolatry. When we begin to pursue something over our pursuit and worship of God, it is our idol. I think it would be wise to examine ourselves to see if community has become the encouraged and acceptable idol. Does our family take precedence over everything? (That is encouraged to be, but that can subtly become your idol.) Does your commitment to your spouse, kids, friends, small group drive you? (That sounds good, but look at the subtlety of the heart.)
The 1st commandment says –you shall not have any other gods before me. We are all worshipers of something. That is the way we were made. Some worship family, friends, career, nature, leisure, sex, their bodies, food, fun, their church, children, fertility, theology…I could go on. All of those things listed are not bad in and of themselves, but when made the ultimate, we have put them before God and they distract and destroy us.
I think if we really listen that we may have encouraged others to make community an ultimate. Community will not satisfy you. It is hard because people are involved. If you look to it as your object of worship, you will be disappointed and miss the ultimate One to worship. All of our idols leave us disappointed and wanting (and then we blame him for not filling us through them). God does not communicate the commandments to us as some master rules list to smite us. In all his wisdom, he knows that relationship with him is the ultimate fulfillment. He knows that we are satisfied only by loving him with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. That is only accomplished through the grace and life of Jesus, for we cannot do that on our own.
Community can enhance our relationship with God–encouraging us, directing us, helping us grow, helping us learn to serve. It is the means by which we may learn more about God’s character, his love, his faithfulness. However, check yourself. Are you in community to serve and help others to grow ultimately to love God or yourself? Are you looking for what it can give you? Are you trusting God in the season you are in or are you questioning him because you are not fulfilled with friends and community? Do you run from people because they are hard and not meeting your needs or are you trusting God and his word and learning to love them as yourself?
When being “intentional” and having in-depth conversation and living together in community is talked about more than the hope of the gospel…more than adoring Christ, more than exalting and knowing him…we have made it an idol. When good becomes ultimate it is time to repent and fall on the grace of Christ.